Sunday, 27 November 2016
Funny jokes
*A police Officer caught a drunk man having sex with a dead woman*
*Police:* Hey, how can u rape a dead person? Are u mad?
*Man:* No constable am not mad, we both had an agreement.
*Police:* What agreement?
*Man:* Two (2) years back i asked this woman to have sex with me and she said " OVER MY DEAD BODY "
*_So i am having sex over her dead body . Don't laugh alone like and share 😀😀😀😂😂👆_*
*Police:* Hey, how can u rape a dead person? Are u mad?
*Man:* No constable am not mad, we both had an agreement.
*Police:* What agreement?
*Man:* Two (2) years back i asked this woman to have sex with me and she said " OVER MY DEAD BODY "
*_So i am having sex over her dead body . Don't laugh alone like and share 😀😀😀😂😂👆_*
Funny jokes........
An accident occurred today, 11 people were injured and 12 died. So the Minister Of Health promised to offer 2million cedis to the injured and 60million to the dead for their funeral.
One of the injured got up and laid where the dead were; one of the dead shouted, bro go back to your place don't bring confusion here, they have counted us already. 😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆
One of the injured got up and laid where the dead were; one of the dead shouted, bro go back to your place don't bring confusion here, they have counted us already. 😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆
Saturday, 29 October 2016
Wednesday, 19 October 2016
Tuesday, 18 October 2016
Saturday, 15 October 2016
Educated sons
1st son : Degree in Economics.
2nd son: MBA.
3rd son : PhD
4th son : Thief
Neighbour: Why can’t you throw the
4th son out of your house? Father : He is the only one earning money. The rest are unemployed.
2nd son: MBA.
3rd son : PhD
4th son : Thief
Neighbour: Why can’t you throw the
4th son out of your house? Father : He is the only one earning money. The rest are unemployed.
Flooding in Lagos
The following WhatsApp chat ensued between Akpos and his boss:
Akpos: Boss, I won’t be able to come to work today.
Boss: Why not?
Akpos: It rained heavily in my area and the whole place is flooded.
Boss: You listed “swimming” as your hobby in your CV. So hurry up and come to work! I’m expecting you!
Akpos: Jesus Christ!!!
Akpos: Boss, I won’t be able to come to work today.
Boss: Why not?
Akpos: It rained heavily in my area and the whole place is flooded.
Boss: You listed “swimming” as your hobby in your CV. So hurry up and come to work! I’m expecting you!
Akpos: Jesus Christ!!!
Wife versus husband
Wife: honey can you please help me clean the garden
Husband: do i look like a gardener?
Wife:ooh am sorry honey, ok then fix bathroom door plz
Husband: do i look like a carpenter?
husband walks out, at returning, he finds the garden cleaned and the door
fixed.
Husband: I knew my wife will do this all by herself
Wife: its not me
Husband: who then?
Wife: Jonny our neighbor
Husband: how much did u pay him?
Wife: No, he just gave me 2 options, bread or sex
Husband: i hope you gave him bread
Wife: Do I look like a baker?
Husband: do i look like a gardener?
Wife:ooh am sorry honey, ok then fix bathroom door plz
Husband: do i look like a carpenter?
husband walks out, at returning, he finds the garden cleaned and the doorfixed.
Husband: I knew my wife will do this all by herself
Wife: its not me
Husband: who then?
Wife: Jonny our neighbor
Husband: how much did u pay him?
Wife: No, he just gave me 2 options, bread or sex
Husband: i hope you gave him bread
Wife: Do I look like a baker?
Mesut Ozil marks birthday with a goal and a win.
It was an outstanding performance from Arsenal FC against Swansea city. Arsenal manage to go pass Swansea city with goals from Theo Walcott (2) and mesut ozil(1).
Tuesday, 11 October 2016
Don't Want To Be A Victim of Car Theft These Ember Months? Here Is How
Last Saturday, my uncle, a Medical Doctor got a call from the
hospital about a patient experiencing a terrible seizure needing urgent
attention. I was not particularly happy because he was about to miss the
football match we had planned to watch in less than 30 minutes since we
had a bet.
I was sure my team was going to win this and was about to make N10, 000
cool cash from him. This became the least of our worries when I heard my
uncle shouting at the estate’s security guard. I ran out and saw that
his car window had been smashed and the brainbox, radio, side mirrors
and window controls were all gone! Wondering what happened to the
security guard? Well, that’s story for another day.
With the Christmas celebrations fast approaching, this is the time to
stay ahead of hooligans that may be lurking around waiting for the right
time to strike.
The C-Protect Glass Protective Film from Concept Nova, Nigeria’s
Leading IT Solutions Firm is your best bet to Vehicular Security this
season. The premium anti-glass break solution helps to safeguard cars
and other valuables whether on the road, in public places or even while
parked.
Once installed on glass surfaces you need protected eg. window glasses
and vents, C-Protect reduces the ease of robbery to the barest minimum
as it is nearly impossible to break the car glass upon multiple hits.
Even in the event of a glass break, it holds all glass pieces together
denying entry to a potential thief.
Below is a video demo:
Celebrate the holidays in good cheers by securing your vehicle against theft!
Paul Pogba's new '100' haircut (photos)
The world's most expensive footballer Paul Pogba took to his Instagram page to unveil his new haircut. Paul Pogba is known for changing hairstyles regularly and this new haircut has a '100' sign. More photos after the cut.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)